Professional Profile

Mission Statement
To maintain a continued personal commitment to make the world a better place. My willingness and enjoyment in helping others is something I value and see as a personal strength. My mission is to be happy and be a part of making other people happy. This includes supporting my family, friends, and community. I will set and meet both personal and professional goals without sacrificing beliefs, values, and dreams. A reputation of dependability, being organized, caring, and finding the good in situations is an asset and keeps me focused through the journey of life. The ability to make a less than happy situation into something positive is my advantageous trait.

I am an Alverno graduate with a degree in English and a support in Communications, a mother of two, a wife, and a volunteer. My first commitment is to my family. Supporting and guiding my children. My goal is to make a difference in the lives of troubled youth. The path I take to reach this goal is winding. Experience is important and to obtain this I plan to:
· Apply to be a grade school substitute teacher.
· Volunteer at my daughter’s school.
· Volunteer at community centers.
· Participate actively in the programs at Divine Mercy Church in South Milwaukee.

Learning experiences are a daily occurrence and I have been made more aware of this fact since returning to college at Alverno. Both inside and outside the walls of Alverno, I am thankful for what the college has given me. Four years ago speeches, presentations, or talking in front of a number of people scared me to death. However, after my second week of classes this insecure feeling was quickly an issue of the past. The strength and self-confidence I worked hard to achieve, has given me the ability to present with confidence.

Instructors that I have had will be remembered as mentors and friends. They are truly an inspiration. A student’s best interest is their best interest; they push just enough to obtain the best an idividual has to offer.

A presentation that I am most proud, because of what it represents, is one I worked on during fall semester 2008 in a Professional Communications class. I had the opportunity to be a co-director of an infomercial on racism in Milwaukee. As part of my responsibilities, I put together a PowerPoint presentation successfully putting the project Journalists in the mood to go out and tackle the topic. All the women in class learned (unfortunately) racism presents itself in many forms. The topic of racism carried over into a Humanities class I was a part of during spring semester 2009. It is in this class I made my career goal decision. As stated in my mission statement, I hope to work with at risk youth through community centers, elementary schools, and church.

As a wife of a police officer and a mother of two girls, I personally want to see more unity and peace within communities; no racism whatsoever, and healthy choices made by parents, adults, teens, and children. There has been a few events in my life that impacted my learning. Turning 40 was one, working on and writing hard news and feature stories in a communications and journalism class was another. I am a strong news writer and plan to carry out this strength with the continuation of a blog posting through the CommunityNow website. Also, as an active volunteer and PTO member at my children’s school, this has given me the gift of patience, a stronger team work approach, and the knowledge that children can teach as well as learn. More importantly, each event has made me stronger and provided me with the desire to be a better person, mother, and student (we never stop learning).

In closing, I reflect upon how it often seems time gets away from me or consumes me, but Alverno has helped me to evolve into a person that can handle stress, life, family, education and carve out enough time to come out on the other end successful.

Fifth grade girl scores team high 14 points!

CNI Newspapers, South Milwaukee
Saturday, February 21, 2009
(written as class assignment)

It was just another Saturday morning recreation league basketball game for Mackenzie Meyers, or so she thought. Mackenzie, a fifth grade student at Rawson Elementary School, suited up for the last game of the 2008/09 girls basketball season in hopes of a big win. This win would leave her team, the Rockets, tied for first with the Hornets.

The consumption of a banana and small bowl of cereal is Mackenzie's traditional before game breakfast, according to her parents. She is an incredibly focused ten-year-old girl and one of very few words prior to hitting the basketball court. Her father commented, "No matter the weather, Mackenzie laces up her mid-tops and works up her snap-crackle-pop with a drive way warm up." A shoveled path and swishing a hoop through snowflakes or dodging raindrops to make sure the perfect layup doesn't slip away, gets Meyers' head in the game.

The Rawson school gymnasium was filled with anxious spectators sitting on the edge of their seats awaiting what they all hoped would be a nail-biter of a game.

The first quarter, 8 minutes long, seemed to pass in a flash. In the final seconds Meyers put up a shot from 15 feet and sank it to tie the game at 6-6. According to the Rockets coach, Brian Stueck, the girl’s nerves needed to be worked out during the first quarter.

The second quarter played out similar to the first. Meyers scored another hoop to bring her point total in the first half to 8. In the final seconds of the second quarter, Isabel Rodriguez sank a shot to put the Rockets ahead by two, 10-8. The entire Rockets team was pumped up. Coach Stueck said adrenaline was flowing, and the team’s focus was intact.

Both teams suffered minor injuries. As seen by game officials, spectators, and coaches, Rockets' player Samantha Smith experienced a poke in the eye during a heated struggle to regain possession, and Emily Johnson of the Hornets suffered a scraped knee during a jump ball scramble. Both coaches took advantage of time-outs and both girls missed only minutes for recuperation. Players from both teams displayed true sportsmanship coming to the aid of the injured players and helping them up from the floor.

The lead bounced back and forth the majority of the game, but in the final minutes Mackenzie Meyers exploded with the luck ‘o the shot. One after another… swish. Meyers scored 6 of her 14 points in the last quarter and became the lead scorer of Saturday’s game. “Meyers scored a game high 14 points,” said her coach.

The Rawson Rockets defeated the Hornets 18-14, leaving the two teams tied for first place in the South Milwaukee 5th/6th grade recreation league.

Not only did the Rockets bring home a tied for first standing to their elementary school, it comes on the heels of the fifth grade Rawson Vikings flag football team placing first in the fall with a 6-0 record. It should not go unmentioned that Mackenzie Meyers was the quarterback of the undefeated football team.

Will South Milwaukee see this team of girls bring them to the State Tournament in another six years? One thing is for sure, sporting enthusiasts need to keep an eye on Mackenzie Meyers.

Fifth grade girl scores 14 points in basketball game
CNI Newspapers, South Milwaukee
Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mackenzie Meyers, a fifth grade student at Rawson Elementary School, was the lead scorer during Saturday morning’s game. During her team’s final basketball game of the season “Meyers scored a game high 14 points,” said her coach.

The Rawson Rockets defeated the Hornets 18-14 leaving the two teams tied for first place in the South Milwaukee 5th/6th grade recreation league.

At the end of the first quarter, the teams were tied 6-6. In the final seconds of the first half, Isabel Rodriguez sunk a shot to put the Rockets ahead by two, 10-8.

The lead bounced back and forth the majority of the game.

Both teams experienced minor injuries. Game officials, spectators, and coaches witnessed Rockets player Samantha Smith receive a poke in the eye, and Emily Johnson of the Hornets suffered a scraped knee during a jump ball scramble. Officials called time-outs and both players missed only minutes.

The fourth quarter sparked nothing but net for Rockets’ Mackenzie Meyers. Meyers scored 8 of her 14 points in the final quarter.

According to Rockets’ Coach Brian Stueck, he was proud of all his players. Instead of a Gator-Aid bath in the final seconds, spectators witnessed Coach Stueck’s enthusiastic reception of cheers and a thank you chant by all team members.

Both coaches praised their players sportsmanship.

Will South Milwaukee see this team of girls bring them to the State Tournament in another six years? Time will tell.

Remembering Mom

On February 26th, it will be four years since my mother-in-law passed away. Some of you may have had the pleasure of knowing her. The following memoir is in remembrance of a wonderful person who is thought about and missed every day.

October is a month of change. The weather is changing, clocks change and fall back in time, the leaves are changing, perennials are hibernating, and annuals are dying. In October of 2004, I learned of another type of imminent death. After months of side aches, lower back pain, nausea, test after test, and gall bladder surgery it was discovered my mother-in-law was suffering from advanced pancreatic cancer. At the time, she was fifty-five years old. To my detriment I have never been a person okay with death; it frightened me beyond what I could put into words so I knew this experience was going to be difficult.

After becoming a mother the idea of facing death, my own or my child’s, would keep me up some nights. Numerous questions would flood my mind… Would death be painful? Would I be able to say goodbye to the people I love? Would I be able to hold my daughters and tell them not to be scared (even though I was)? Would my daughters forget about me? Who would give them motherly advice? Should it be my child that is facing death, would I be able to provide them with answers to all of their questions and make them feel safe? It wasn’t until my mother-in-law’s diagnosis that someone answered my questions and made me feel safe. My mother-in-law, Judy, talked with me and put my fears at ease.

The changes of autumn soon fell to the cold, white of winter. Time seemed as though it was passing us by more quickly than my family wished for. We attempted to make time stand still on Thanksgiving by reminiscing, laughing, and staying together later than any other year. Oddly, the younger children didn’t seem to appear ornery or in need of pajamas and bedtime. The only way time was made to stand still that day was in the many, many photographs that were taken.

The Holidays were emotional and filled with heavy hearts. There was a moment I found myself sitting on the sofa next to Judy holding her hand. She was often tired and feeling ill from the chemotherapy treatments that had begun and continued. We bundled her up in layers of clothing and covered her with blankets because the treatments left her feeling cold at all times. The house would often be quite warm. Visitors would find comfort in wearing light-weight clothing; otherwise you may find yourself with rosy cheeks and heavy eye lids ready to take a nap. That warmth would continue not only in the form of temperature but in the love that exuded from Judy and the entire family. The few times she was fully alert were precious and it happened so infrequently that I felt lucky to capture one of these moments.

I feel a bit of information important for readers to know is my mother-in-law, Judy, was a very giving woman. She was religious and had faith in herself, her family, and carried a strong faith in God. She saw the good in everyone. She gave of her time not only as a grade school teacher, but as a mentor, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, and a friend.

While holding Judy’s hand I began to cry. She looked at me and squeezed my hand saying, “are you okay?” At first I didn’t think I heard her correctly, was I okay? In response I turned to her and said, “Me? What about you?” With a strong, clear voice and a smile on her face she said she was fine, but didn’t like to see me cry. “Why are you crying?” she asked. I truthfully told her I was scared and angry. Scared for her and scared to think of what life would be like without her. Anger was also behind my tears. Why was this happening to such a wonderful person?

Once again, Judy turned to me putting her arm around my shoulder and said the following: “Don’t be angry, I’m not. Don’t be afraid for me, I’m not afraid. God had a plan for me that started the second I was born. I was put on this earth to carry out his plan and everything I was meant to accomplish is completed. God didn’t give me cancer and he will save me from the pain at the moment he knows I can no longer endure it. My work here is done. I raised my children, I saw all of them get married and I saw all of them have children. I live on in all of them. Don’t be scared or angry, remember me and know I will soon be in the best hands possible, God’s.”

It was at that moment, I was no longer scared to die. It was at that moment I knew those who go before us will greet us in eternity; we will one day be reunited. At that moment I learned I will never be as strong as Judy, only gain strength from her words. Death, fear not, God has a plan for all of us.

Shortly after Christmas that year, my father-in-law Eugene struggled with his health. Diagnosed with the early stages of lung cancer a year or so earlier he opted for minimal treatments and to carry on living his life. He was a retired catholic priest and twenty years Judy’s senior; he was intelligent and he was wise. Obviously a religious man and one with his faith, he knew God had a plan for him as well. I believe part of His plan was preventing my father-in-law from watching his beloved wife suffer. God knew it would be too hard on Eugene, perhaps making him feel helpless, and thought if better that he act as Judy’s angel from above. My father-in-law passed away on January 2, 2005.

Judy never wanted to be a burden on her family and children and knew her worsening condition needed constant care. By early January (two months after her diagnosis) she was basically bed ridden needing help with eating, showering, changing clothes, etc. Judy’s children placed her in the wonderful care of Ramsey Woods. Although a home generally for dementia and Alzheimer patients, Judy’s mother had lived her final years there; the staff came to know Judy and willingly opened their doors for her.

The room provided to Judy was an extension of her home, the warmth of family photos, furniture from home, and indeed the warmth of temperature. Each visit greeted us with the smell of what was on the menu for residents that day and upon entering Judy’s room the blast of heat warmed a person down to their toes. A single mattress stood against the wall in the corner of her room and regardless of the heat held a cold lonely image. It was this mattress that was placed on the floor each night for a family member to sleep on. Someone stayed with Judy each night she spent at Ramsey. She always loved the presence of family. Although the heat of the room always kept us warm, that mattress was the base for many sleepless nights. Closing one’s eyes and falling asleep just meant another day had passed and it was another day closer to having to say goodbye… for now.

Pain medication never seemed to be an option for Judy. She never asked for it nor wanted it when offered. This held true until February 25th, 2005. My husband had to work that night and my sister-in-law needed to go back home to Sheboygan so I offered and was more than happy to spend the evening with Judy until Mark would arrive at 11:30 p.m. While there, the mattress remained upright against the wall; I pulled a chair close to Judy’s bed where I remained most of the evening and night. She had a fever, a painful cough, and trouble breathing. I once again held her hand, this time telling her stories of times gone by. At one point she opened her eyes, looked at me and said, “You’re so nice”. Jokingly I responded “you do know it’s me, right mom.” She chuckled and said yes. Those were the last words she spoke to me.

My husband arrived about 11:20 p.m.; I decided to go home allowing him time to be alone with his mom. At approximately 2:45 a.m. on February 26th, 2005 our telephone rang and my husband spoke the words that were inevitable… “My mom is gone”. The warmth of that room, I’m sure, suddenly grew cold. It wasn’t the temperature that always kept us warm, it was Judy’s heart.

Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. When I’m faced with something I fear or am intimidated by I grasp onto her words: “Don’t be angry, I’m not. Don’t be afraid for me, I’m not afraid. God had a plan for me that started the second I was born.” Judy watches over her family every day. She gives me strength and holds my hand when I need it. She and my father-in-law remind me God will get me through.

Judy is the reason I am a student at Alverno College. She is a 1992 alumna. I miss you Mom Meyers, today and every day.

Fat Tuesday

FAT TUESDAY! This year Fat Tuesday is February 24, 2009. This particular day is indeed a day of feeling fat due to the many, many Paczki (Punchki) people eat.

For years my family has carried on the tradition of making homemade Polish Punchki the Monday before Ash Wednesday. This tradition began with my grandmother over 60 years ago.

After my grandmother passed away in the late 1980's, my mother, sister, and I took over the Punchki duty. We fry, fill and sugar our hearts out sporting quite the fashion change compared to when Grandma did the baking. I remember grandma being 'dressed up' to bake wearing a skirt, stockings, cardigan sweater, and an apron. Today, anyone lucky enough to be invited into the tradition will find us dressed in comfortable clothing that will smell deep fried by night's end.

I was 17 years old when we took over the tradition. That was 23 years ago. Eeeshk, that would make me... no need to go there. In the beginning we made approximately 50 donuts for our own delicious enjoyment as well as sharing some of the mouth watering delicacy with extended family members. That number has grown to almost 200 donuts. Families have grown and friends have gotten word of our delicious tradition and place orders with us.

My sister and I have children of our own who partake in the tradition and love it. They anxiously talk about the day weeks ahead of time. Included in the fun last year was a close friend of the family, and while sharing in the tradition she became more like a family member. She enjoyed hearing our stories and memories of past years and laughed along with us. My sister, mom, and I are hopeful our friend will join us again this year, however, she is sworn to secrecy on our family Pazcki recipe.

As evening turned into night and the last of the Punchki were rolled through sugar, we began to label containers with the names of lucky recipients. Who gets prune filled? Who gets jelly filled? Who prefers plain? Phone calls were made letting family and friends know the Polish Pazcki Bus was leaving home-base to make deliveries. It is important we wrap up the process by 9:30 PM and start deliveries before our customers are going to bed. The weather is never a factor; wind, sleet, snow, rain, or cold never stops the delivery. To be honest, delivery is half the fun... often greeted by family and friends in pajamas, robes, and a HUGE smile of appreciation. It is an important tradition for the Marek/Benka family and now extended friends, on Fat Tuesday morning a homemade Punchki accompanies a cup of coffee and sweet memory of Grandma and a long-lived tradition.

My mom, sister, and I would never give this up and perhaps with each passing year the number of Punchki made will rise. We are hopeful in another fifty years our children will be carrying on this tradition as well. Grandma would be so proud.

[The true Polish tradition is the Thursday before Ash Wednesday is known as Fat Thursday and Paczkis are in abundance. The Tuesday before Ash Wednesday is known a Herring Day. On this day you celebrate, celebrate, celebrate and eat a lot of herring. Personally, I am happy to solely celebrate with the sweet, greasy, cholesterol-filled donuts on Fat Tuesday.]

Through the eyes of writing

My blog is a reflection of who I am and how I see myself, my family, my friends, my life. Some of the stories that I will post are personal experiences I believe readers will be able to relate to in some way, shape, or form, and some of the stories (I hope) will just be enjoyable to read.

When I write, I strive to bring my writings to life allowing my readers to visualize and feel what I write. Ever since I was young, I can remember enjoying school assignments that entailed writing a story. The very first story I wrote was in sixth grade with my fellow classmate Jim Kulba. Together we wrote a tall tale about how the game of basketball was invented. Throughout junior high school, I would write what I thought was the best original poetry ever. Looking back at some of them now, I find only a few were somewhat good. I have learned some of my best writing occurs when emotions are running high. These emotions can be sadness, happiness, or even anger.

I have a goal to expand my reading library and familiarize myself and memorize more works of various authors. I can remember books I've read but not always the author of the book. One novel that I love and do remember the author is F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. With each turn of a page the words and the mental images jumped out. My grandfather and great uncle were businessmen in the Roaring '20's, and it was wonderful being able to appreciate the stories my grandfather shared with me about that historical time through the pages of this great novel. When time allows, I want to read his 1920's novel The Curious Cage of Benjamin Button. Although the movie is presently in theatres, a book on screen doesn't do the original work the justice it deserves.

As the semester moves forward, I do hope you will enjoy what I write and know that I am trying to bring a smile to the face or a tear to the eye of those who choose to follow my blog.

Sisterhood

Webster tells us the definition of sisterhood is a congenial relationship or companionship among women, mutual female esteem, concern, support, etc.

My definition of sisterhood is evident throughout the lines of the following true story:

It had been 18 years since I talked to Kelly. We were thick as thieves my senior year in high school and the following two years. For some forgettable reason we lost touch. However, I thought of her often. Three years ago a tragic death of a South Milwaukee native and resident took place. It was the daughter of a man I had as a teacher in high school. She, along with her baby girl, died during child birth. They were a well know family in town; the dad/grandpa was a teacher and basketball coach for many years at South Milwaukee High School. His daughter too became a teacher in South Milwaukee. It was heart wrenching for many. I decided to go on the obituary website of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and post my condolences to my former teacher. I did so signing my maiden name as well as leaving my email address. Not long after posting my sympathies, I received an email from a fellow classmate who had gone on the MJS online website to do the same as I. It read, “Hi Benka! It’s Kelly! I was visiting the obituary site to post a message to our former teacher and saw your name and email along with your sympathies. Heartbreaking, isn’t it?! After all these years, I can’t believe I saw your name and had a way to contact you. How are you?” Strange isn’t it? Someone’s passing, brought two old friends back together.

Shortly after exchanging emails I went to visit Kelly at her home. At the time married for 10+ years with an infant son named EJ; myself, married ten years with two daughters. My eldest daughter shares the same birthday with my friend. Kelly looked terrific, looked exactly like I remembered. During my visit her son fell ill. I stayed and helped her clean up “messes” all the while we reminisced. It felt as though only days had gone by and not years. After hours of catching up and cleaning up we parted with a hug and a promise to keep in touch. That was a little more than three years ago.

For months we exchanged many emails and phone calls, but in December of 2006, Kelly sent me an unforgettable, emotional email. At thirty-six years of age she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer that had spread to her liver. The next year (our second year since rekindling our friendship) would prove to be one filled with laughter, tears, strength, weakness, education, anger, and hope. Immediately I picked up the phone and called Kelly. She was upbeat, positive, going to meet this terrible “c-word” head on, and would fight! While talking with her I broke down in tears. She consoled and reassured me everything would be okay. SHE consoled ME. Have I told you what an amazing individual she is?

Surgeries were performed and many doctor appointments filled Kelly’s days. Chemotherapy was under way and prayers and support were in abundance. During the months from January to June 2007 I accompanied Kelly on three chemo appointments. We would talk, laugh, make plans, and not discuss the reason behind why we were there. Not a day would pass when I didn’t think of my friend and pray to God to leave this amazing person on earth. “Do not take her from us; her little boy needs her, her husband needs her, her friends need her.”

Early in July 2007 Kelly finished with chemo and had a scan that would hopefully reveal her cancer in remission. The results of her scan would reveal… NO CANCER. Her stage four colon cancer was gone. She would remain an angel here on earth. That August the women in Kelly’s life celebrated her 37th birthday and the fact she had beat cancer. It was a party filled with laughter through tears, the best emotion ever to experience.

My sister joined me at Kelly’s party and upon arriving we realized we only knew two other women. Throughout the celebration we all started to share our best “Kelly stories” and then the most special aspect of each of our friendships with her. We all realized we had so many things in common; one story started another and then another. Within three hours my sister and I felt as though we had known these women for years. That is a feeling of true sisterhood.

I thank God for saving my friend, I thank a woman whom I never got to meet for returning my friend to me, and I thank my friend for being an inspiration, an angel, a pillar of strength, and a sister. It is now February 2009 and Kelly has been cancer free for 17 months.

The following statements are my personal definitions of sisterhood:
• Having a special bond with one woman or many women.
• Having a special bond as friends, family or both.
• With my sisters, tears turn to laughter and laughter brings tears.
• Silence is understood and sometimes speaks volumes when the words just aren’t there.
• No mate is ever good enough for us.
• When there is a problem, we drop whatever we are doing to lend a listening ear, share a cup of coffee, a pint of ice-cream, or a cocktail or two or three.
• We share recipes, frustrations, clothes, secrets, etc.
• We love to shop.
• We tell each other when there is something stuck in our teeth.
• Email, email, email.
• Going to chemotherapy treatments with a “sister” and talk about everything but the reason we are there.
• Honesty!
• Respect!
• Loyalty!
• Best friends for years, lose touch, reunite after years, and don’t miss a beat!

Sisterhood and friendships stem from persons, good hearts, honesty, and identity with one’s self.